Blind date. Could it be an unkind fate?
I wait there trying to look pretty.
Men pass by, look at me, and pass on
As if I was a weedy old cow
In a cattle pen.
I stand outside
The posh bar
Look at all the drinks
And at all the men.
He said he’ll meet me here,
He promised.
I keep looking at the photo
And at any man carrying flowers.
I keep looking
As time alone screws on.
I could have had two drinks by now
And a splended meal.
I began to realise no one is coming,
That I have been stood up,
I had guessed after that half-heartily
Yahoo-messenger message, that mister
Was not going to master me.
After a hour of feeling a prune
I find a quiet pub
And sit alone and drink
Like an old bag lady.
Blind date? Bloody great!
I look at the wrinkles on my face
Through my powder-puff mirror,
And I start to cry.
—
“Good night last night Tiff?”
“Yeah, he was a splended guy,
But I am choosy I am afraid.”
The beer tastes bitter,
I must wash the pipes out.
At least some old pipes get filled
With creamy liquid!
—
Tiffy Witherington
—-
“Time to wake up Toby,
Rise and shine my lucky lad!”
I curse the new clock I bought,
The pre-recorded voice is so cheerful.
Why didn’t I stick with a buzzer
Rather than join the fad?
I feel a pang of guilt too,
For the vicar over at Bentley St. Martin’s
Has on his clock
The Lord Prayer!
—
The Reverend Tobias Trontby.
—
My sweet tooth
is so sweet
that all of the others
have fallen out
over the years
just from eating
too many sweets.
—
Tiffy Witherington.
—
to come:
The_Clowne_from_Clown on Sunday night: “The Clowne in London” Read about me hoping to meet an xanga person in the flesh, but them not turning up. Read also about St. Patrick’s day parade. The site won’t get many comments as I refuse to comment using that blog.
Comments (43)
yay first to comment! getting stood up sucks..although it has never happened to me. i especially like “sweet tooth” it is something i can imagine myself saying in 50 or so years
Well – I’m an old fart, but at least I still have all my original teeth! I wouldn’t waste a single instant on a blind date, and I can still afford to pay for my own drinks, thank you very much. LOL.
love tiffy’s raw and bitter spin on things…but nothing from my favorite Jacques? Maybe next time, LordP? take care ~jacki
the first and the last ones here from Tiffany are especially bittersweet and could have even been connected…great…
at least Tiffy got dressed up & went out & she has a powder puff compact all hope is not lost very good at relaying Tiff’s feelings lord thanx magi
How traumatic! Blind dates are hard enough, let alone being stood up.
I can just see the Rev feeling guilty that his clock wasn’t “holier”!
Lordy, give the poor girl a break and take her to dinner.
On the bright side, she would probably have had a worse time if the guy had shown up. Always the optimist, I am.
I always hated blind dates.
Glad to see you back once again! Exceptional writing.
Hugs
Hey. I just ate some pineapple. With chili-salt. It was good. Keep it copasetic. Peace.
I found Tiff’s cream-filled musings rather funny!
You have such a way…
Peace and Love…GFW
well i found it a bit sad but then life is full of disappointments just as well or we never recognise the highs at all
Yay! You’re back!
I love the way funny and poignant are juxtaposed the way you do it! Just when you think it’s about one thing, it’s something else again.
blind date…wonderful.
I have never been on a blind date, nor even dreamed of it in dream or poetry, very good though. How did you start to have all these amazing characters?
M.A.
of course not… i added you all i think to my protected list now…
hugs…
D.
Gossipy? Is that how you see my blogs? Ah well, can’t please the masses all the time. I write for ME and that’s that! thankfully my friends don’t read my site.
As always, I love your writings and look forward to reading them on a regular basis. Take care and happy Sunday to you!
Not a problem… I wasn’t offended.
Life’s a beach. Ironic that that’s where whales come to die.
Life’s a bitch. Ironic that that’s why women cry.
The sky fell on my head – great! I also like these lines in blind date, “I keep looking
As time alone screws on.”
blind dates. i’ve been on both sides of that fence. being the one stood up, and being the one doing the standing up. blind dates, indeed. sigh. the worst ones though (at least in my mind) are the ones where you both arrive, after a few minutes of uncomfortable nervous chatter, realize you will never see this person again for a variety of whatever reasons and you can’t wait to escape and every second is excrutiating agony until you find yourself finally at home safely where you can crumble or laugh, or both. gah. it’s a wonder any of us keep leaping into the void.
courage, man, courage. keep your chin up, eh?
B
nice.
no one so far has mentioned the dirty ending to the first poem! Not even the one Brit who has answered!
Sir,I wouldn’t want you to feel that you wasted your time visiting me, so here’s a little cricket news I took off the internet just for you. “Australia took advantage of seven leg before wicket decisions to wreck New Zealand’s second innings and pave the way for a nine-wicket win on the fourth day of the first cricket Test at Jade Stadium on Sunday.”
can’t believe they didn’t turn up to meet you, how rude.
and of course there’s no reason to be ashamed of crying, i’m not. i like crying sometimes, it’s a good release
(I read this yesterday when I was running out the door to go to that thing at Blizzies high school)
very cute. clocks, we really hate them in the morning…
Okay then… yes, Tiffany’s poem does have a naughty ending…
made me blush, it did….
Pahahaha, no really I thought it was a Starbucks Mocha frappachino. Not!
Well, I do like both of Tiffany’s poems. very sad though.
Rev Toby…
You know, we came home from church and I opened up my bloggie and the three of us here, just looked at that tremendously long “comment/blog” and then glanced quickly down to your comment and we burst out laughing
Bloody Hell, indeed!
I hope you had a wonderful day.
Mine was so weird I can’t write about it, just too intense…. too much today.
I need to get back in bed and perhaps it was all a dream.
Since high school I have never gone on a blind date!
dirty ending I noticed. But tis L P’s baser darker side bleeding thru again. Lean into the Light, it’s better there and you do it so well.
Blind dates! A true nightmare!
How then, are you……….
The blind date poem just reminds me how some are searching to find someone to instantly fit with themselves, but there are many pieces with which to test fit, and no fit can be perfect.
Maybe someone should find a cure for cardboard dissitegration, if relationships are now of cardboard puzzle pieces
Peace be with you.
Sad blind date… Makes me wonder why he didn’t show up.
Your poems deserve the highest form of accolade anyone can ever give, you know?
Thankyou for your sweet words. Hope you still do welcome me…
I hate Xanga, i typed a nice comment when the whole bloody server went down !!! I noticed the dirty ending to Tiffy’s poem hehehehe laughable .. blind dates are not really recommended for those who are not into being surprised and disappointed ..heck !! its a killer to one’s emotions and self-esteem!
Just dropiing by for a late-night spot of inspiration and observattion, and, of course, not leaving disappointed.
Take care
-J-
I’m glad you fear no one with your xanga blogs. I only fear one person…but he is very dangerous and has many “connections”. Long story. Traumatic.
You write well.
Ah, more from the great Tiffy.
I like the first poem…it captures the agony of “blind dates” perfectly.
Come on LP….Jacques for the next post. Do it, you know you want to.
regarding my post:
i have been trying to understand Islam ever since i was a little girl. interpretations and conclusions.I am a Muslim.only this time, im learning the law. and its much harder than any other law.
but i like challenges.
thank you for the comment.
The Blind Date poem was wonderful. Dead on.
I never was a fan of blind dates.
You have a beautiful blog, I love your banner and colors.
Have a super weekend!
pardon? what was that comment about?
its kinda mean?