January 13, 2005
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“The Visitor”
“everything always went on for ever” Samuel Beckett: “The Embers”
Yes, I remember the coal fire.
The crackling, the hissing, the spitting,
The shifting of embers;
I remember the fire.
It was cold out,
Not snowing
just very cold,
And there I was standing naked
By the fire;
My body shaking.
And there he was,
I could see him grinning.
I looked away from where
He wanted me to see,
I looked up and saw him grinning.
It wasn’t love.
It wasn’t hate.
It was merely his desire
For my young body.
As I leant over the settee,
The fire crackling on in
The tears in my eyes:
I felt the pain,
I felt the pain
As he felt the desire.
It was soon over,
And he kissed me on my lips;
His breath smelt of cigarettes.
He gave me a toy
And then he left.
I watched the toy burn
Like my bottom burnt.
The woman then came in
And she dressed me.
I hated her more
Than I hated him.
It was as if he did not understand,
But she did.
She was cruel,
She was my teacher,
The one my parents
Had trusted me with.
She wiped away the blood
Coming out of my backside,
And she told me I should be grateful;
That he was the man
That I could never become.
I sat then alone by that fire,
I sat for hours
Just staring at the fire.
It was cold out,
Not snowing
Just very cold.
As cold as my inside
As cold as my heart.
—
Terry Cuthbert.
___________________
Notes: at the Three_Headed_Sarahs site is their latest play “At The Pearly Gates”
And don;t forget the new poetry (etc) forum at http://www.jalabelle.com
Comments (22)
Be on Tomorrow night.
Terry, there is nothing, nothing that can be said to this. I only hope that writing it was healing in some way.
I agree with the above comment. I have nothing …
That is so sad!!! The viciousness of some people is unfathomable to me. Guess I have led too sheltered a life! So sorry, Terry. As the others have said–there is nothing that can be said!
Horrifying~you have shown depth of courage in writing this piece~
And from my heart to your ear~I send you the power of love and the blessing of friendship~
Terrifying-the vulnerability-
I’m rendered speachless, Terry:
there are no word that can describe such cruelty.
Be well
dam what a talented poem
but i was listenin to such good happy music this just threatens
to bang bang bang crash it all down
but then again we need that though at times, the different aspects of humanity or rather something lower than humanity.
of water and fire.
peace
John
And you say you have no empathy… Very moving, disturbing poem. Even though I’m sure this poem is fiction (because it isn’t on your Clowne site) I know it is very true for some unfortunate soul in the world. The sadness is almost overwhelming.
Very moving indeed. Renders one speechless and almost thoughtless…
oh this touches me deep within.
maybe because a thing such as so happened to someone i know.
a brilliant comment on humanity wrapped in a seemingly seam less CARE personal PACKAGE but with u Lord one never knowz one can only i magine magi deletionz?
This is a tragic piece
Goodness, I have been thinking about you. I really hope you are okay.
Is everything okay??
This poem made me cry.
If this is a part of your past, it explains a lot to me.
This poem is in fact fact, any poem above my real name is fact.
concerning the comments you have received: it never ceases to amaze me how people can be so incoherently oblivious to all that goes on around them each and every day … then, when the artist paints the picture, a small glimmer of revelation appears, until they look away
very good piece
That was sad and so many of these despicable people around plenty in Auatralia including high up like Judges and lawyers etc. and of course the internet has widened the group ,and they are even abducting boys from the Tsunami disaster, rotten world we humans live in. I am not surprised at all the trouble that comes ,if there is a God he is probably trying to punish the world ,and if there is one ,why does he allow innocents to sufffer. In the old days ‘Queers’ as they were known as, were born a bit peculiar ,and lesbians were seldom heard of. Nowadays as normal people choose to be that way they don’t like to be called Queers or Homosexuals they have to choose a lovely word for themselves ‘Gay’, so normal people cannot use that word any more. I forgot once and used it in a poem, it was rejected .i altered the word gay ,and it was accepted. I have no time for Queers natual or unnatural ,it is not normal .I don’t care what people say ,so if any queers visit me ,they can stop for I feel nothing but disgust for them both sexes. Cheers Marj
after some consideration, i believe my mouth overloaded before my brain kicked into gear … happens occasionally … and i must apologize to those who left honest comments for my brash opinion and needless accusation … i do apologize, sincerely
And therein destroys a normal existance for any child to become an adult without baggage. That terrible baggage that keeps one from having a lovely relationship with their chosen love. I have been quite blessed and lucky that late in life I was given a chance at true love. It is few and far between. I am so very sorry that your heart and soul was rendered such at such a formative age. Don’t be a stranger to my site or email…I am going to be a Grandmother Bandaid for my daughter and family. I may freeze my bum to pieces…but that is what true love is. You deserve it…you have earned it…and the rest of it is a bunch of crap so throw it away!
You are a very special person Terry….brilliant, flawed through nothing of your fault, and living a life you can change if you are brave enough…death is what waits for us anyway…so take a chance and outrun it all!….
love and respect. Nancy
I was so afraid when I read this that it was true, but then I thought “Surely not” – and then I read that you say it really WAS true, and I am heartbroken for the boy you were, and for the man you are. I am glad that you can still see the goodness and lightheartedness of the world. It shows considerable strength of spirit that you can make it to that point, so I know you will also conquer your present troubles!
to take advantage of a child or person and someone else condoning or looking away while the defenseless are abused is sad, maddening, horrible and selfish of the offender…. The way is destroys this childs world while being taken advantage of is well described here… it’s sad that it is real life for some