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  • The Bloody Red Gazebo.

    ______________________

    And the bloody red gazabo

    Just stopped laughing,

    And all of life

    Froze for one minute

    And in that one minute

    The planet turned itself inside out

    And shook away it's dust

    Into the universe of time.





    Two days ago I watched her die,

    Her eyes no longer warmed,

    Her mouth no longer smiled.

    And two days later she is dust

    As we all are;

    Dust spending a little time

    Pretending to be alive.





    I picked up the photograph

    I could have been alone in the room,

    Alone in the world.

    The silence was complete,

    My wife was just dust.





    Someone poured me a brandy,

    Yvette's sister was crying,

    And outside in the garden

    My two-year-old grand-daughter was laughing under the bloody red gazebo,

    Laughing and kicking up the dust

    That will linger until the next minute the world froze up,

    And angels turned to ice.





    ---

    Jacques du Lumèrie

  • The Night Shelter.



    A man is only a bone.

    I think that as I see a man eating a bone,

    As I see another picking his nose,

    Another crying

    And holding his toes...



    Someone wants a smoke

    Another man shouts

    A helper comes along

    Threatens to throw him out.



    The blankets are smelly

    The night is cold,

    I do not undress

    Sleep in my clothes.



    This is where I am,

    Where I try to sleep,

    Where I dream

    Where I weep.



    I once had a life,

    Three kids a wife.

    All gone now,

    I got into dept

    By how much?

    Oh I forget...



    I sleep and I wake

    For for fuck's sake

    I need a wet.



    I grab my few things

    Someone is saying

    I stole his wedding ring.



    I take a slash

    Swallow some hash

    Or whatever trash

    They put into it,

    For all one gets offered here

    Is utter shit.



    I wish now I had stayed

    In a shop door-way

    At least there I was someone,

    A man, a king...

    And no old fellow

    I didn't steal your fucking ring!



    ---

    blackie fortuna.

  • This is the poem I meant. The next poem will be different I promise, though as I see my own end in sight I remember the others who went before me.


    The next poem is based on reality, it happened some years ago, this was one of my first newspaper stories in fact. For though the poem itself was only wrote this week, the memory is still fresh. This woman, whose husband was killed in the war, brought up her child alone, and no matter how much love she gave him he still did wrong. There were three women raped and murdered in the north of England, and this woman found out the killer was her son, so she went to the police. After he got Life, she killed herself.


    A true story, only the names are changed.


    Terry.


    ---


    "Brian"



    He was always a strange kid, she thought on,

    The way he had thrown those snails on the fire that time,

    The way he had teased the cat for hours on end.

    The signs were there, there for her to see

    But she had hoped that he would grow out of it.



    He could be so loving at times,

    Those flowers he had brought her,

    Sure they were from someone's garden

    But he had not picked them for gain.



    She said the Lord's Prayer.

    She had never been all that religious,

    Not until the now.



    She was so cold, so cold, so very bloody cold.



    The man sent to her, to help her

    Was kindness himself,

    It was as if he understood what it was like to be a mother,

    A mother of a boy

    Who had murdered three women.



    "Brian" she had whispered

    As they gave him life

    And he had stood there

    Hatred in his eyes.

    "Brian" she had repeated

    As they led him away.



    The mother of one of the young women that her son had murdered

    Had touched her hand

    As if to say

    "We have both lost children."



    The night grew dark,

    She did not turn on the lights though,

    Only the gas.



    She left a note, on it were three words:

    "Brian, my son."



    ---

    Lord Pineapple

    ----

    (don't forget my Nonffpercentpoems  site, it has few visitors but it's going to contain all the poems by other people I have loved for the past 40 years)

  • "Bless you vicar

    For being my angel"

    Were her last words to me

    As she slipped away

    Into the silence,

    As her cold hand

    Slid from mine.



    I looked at her husband,

    He nodded to me,

    The nurse came running

    As I said a prayer.



    Later in the tea-room

    Her husband looked at me and said

    "She was my friend Reverend,

    Thank you for helping her

    Through her cancer."



    Outside a bird flew upwards.



    Another angel to bless,

    Another star in the sky.



    ---

    Reverend Tobias Trontby +

     

    ----

    (my next poem will also be about a death, sorry about all this, I am just remembering all those who had died.

    If you want fun, go to the Sarahs' site!

    terry.)

  • Just Looking At Dreams.

    _____________________

    The kettle was on the boil,

    I expected it always was,

    Always ready for a brew

    Even at a time like this.



    I had come to interview them,

    Because a woman's son

    Was in hospital,

    A motor-cycle smash,



    I had wet my pencil

    And the mother and the two aunts,

    (Triplets I guessed,)

    Had started saying about their Harry

    When the telephone rang.



    Harry was dead.



    I knew when I had left,

    The tears would start,

    Perhaps that is why they wanted me to stay,

    I was about the lad's age.

    Anyway, if I left quicky

    I'd felt I'd had just seeked a story.



    I swallowed the tea down,

    One of the women provided biscuits

    In a silver barrel.



    "He was a lovely boy"

    One said at last,

    And, (horror of horrors)

    Got out a vast scrap-book on the lad,

    The only child between the three of them.



    envoi:



    "Where the f*** have you been?"

    The editor wanted to know.



    "Just looking at dreams" I had said

    "Just looking at dreams"



    "Damn poets!" he snarled.



    ---

    Lord Pineapple

     

     

    The Sarahs'
    Have bitten

    The head off
    My kitten

  • The poem below has since been translated into Russian. The quote is from the poet, Mayakovsky; the poem is about the poet's last days when he is on the death-list.



    Mayakovsky Knows. ("The sum of the river equals the beauty of the moon".)



    Every song I may sing,

    Is yours, Mayakovsky:

    Is your silent face.



    Every dream I have

    Is yours, Mayakovsky

    From within your heart.



    When they took you away

    On that cold Moscovian night,

    Shifting laws to make amends

    For what they may do.

    Did you smile, Mayakovsky

    And know that your name

    Will always outshine theirs?



    And when they beat you

    So you were blind, Mayakovsky,

    Did you have a poem

    To share with God?



    Every day I live,

    I live, Mayakovsky

    In memory of you.



    And in those Russian snows,

    The words cried out:

    "MAYAKOVSKY,

    MAYAKOVSKY,

    MAYAKOVSKY KNOWS!"

    The sum of the river

    And the beauty of the moon.



    ---

    Lord Pineapple

  • The Letter Home



    It's very hot here

    As I am writing this letter to you my darling,

    And a gentle fan

    Is blowing at the mosquito net.



    Outside, crickets are rubbing their back legs together

    And a man is training his camel to sit.



    I hope you are well,

    I really wish you could be here my love.

    The beaches are long and near empty

    And you can buy Typhoo tea at the local NAAFI.



    I hope little Mark is walking by now,

    I do miss him growing up,

    And I can't wait for my leave

    So as to be with you both again

    Walking the hop-fields of Kent.



    As usual, I do not know what to say,

    Other than "I love you,

    I love you, I love you."

    So please forgive this short letter.



    Yours with lots of love, Norm.



    PS Tell Mark daddy sends him a BIG wet kiss. X

    ---

    Lord Pineapple.

  • Sorry, mustn't do surreal. Here is a poem. Ignore the last entry if you want.


     


    A kiss in our mackintoshes,

    A jazz-singer inside the hall

    We on the pavement,

    Your left foot is off the ground

    To reach my tall mouth.



    "I can't let you go" I whisper

    But we both know I have to.



    A couple leave the hall

    They are but shades to us.

    We know it is the end.



    You are going back to your ill mother,

    And I am going to war to die.



    The jazz-singer blues on,

    You hide back your tears,

    I pretend to be strong.

    But we both know it is goodbye.



    In the distance,

    A town is burning.



    ---

    Jacques du Lumèrie.

  • Text "Here Be Dragons"

    _____________________



      We no longer cared which numbers came up, they were all the same to us, really they were. 86-33-471...all the same to us as they stopped the desert from arriving. Another beer, another reefer, makes us one bill to pay and us sitting on some hurt-feelings stone laughing away ay Katerena and the numbers, 89610-513-922365894508478139823900864....

      Victoria smiled, "And it doesn't harm the rugs!", wow, the one she has passed round, the tip tasting of her aniseed lipstick...We puffed & giggled & Dave cried "Who forget the fecking tobacco?" Which we all thought funny, especially young Sally, 19 and on her first ever trip off of Earth, as the ship passed yet another lively party on some remote planet far from any sun.

      We docked at the bus stop and watched a large red bus sing, curse, we were too late, hell was arriving fast.

      As I was explaining the funny little bipods to young Susan and George, the rain of fire began, for here be dragons, and the people screamed in terror, and trees started burning and Susan and George (like us stoned eldest) were proper little dragons, the two children flew and sang whilst the rest of us saved the human children but ate all of the cooked adults.

    ----

     


    Text: "& it all went pear-shaped"

    ____________________________





      "This strange flower knows when you are about to return home dear, it blooms!"

      "Don be daft lass, been reading too many books!" I growled, my wife was losing it, her Wacca thingies are ok, I must admit all those young women dancing naked makes me quite horny, but this!

      "Flowers are not daft Bert!" Ethel said. 

      "Give over woman, mash thou tea, I'm panting for cuppa, ma tootsies are killing me lass!"

      "I love you flower!" Ethel smiled at me, yes, I am the real Lord Pineapple, forget the shate I write about being a Clowne human, I am in fact a ff % 243 flower!. Ethel (whose adventures I write sometimes on these very pages is sweet, batty as a fruit cake, but sweet.

      (I recorded Bert in first person there as you humans like this thing. ("My submarine is full of eels" Monty Python, funny ya? On telly this text will have some funny little guy running his thoughts on captuns, captains, capstens, oh you know the word. (Start again. I am Lord Pineapple, writer of half of the shate under my name, writer of other half is my ex-three-headed-pet The Sarahs'.(See that couple'e eyes light up when they admire my flower, The Sarahs' are supping with The Queen and their cousins (The Lucys' are cloning the US President, and we flowers thought it will be us who will help to rule!

      (Remember humans, check a fecking planet before you land on it. Must go, a tiny three-headed bird is chasing me in my plant-pot around the room, and Ethel is saying to Bert "Look, the things want another dog to eat!"

    (P.S. The brackets needs closing!)(OK))))))))

    ----

     


    Text Tea.

    ________



      I carry my breakfast mug around with me at work, I hang it across my shoulder tied to string.

      Okey, so it seems mildly eccentric, but I've found my cup before now being used to store oil in, and, buried in the ground, used as a golf-hole, and many rather disgusting things. Personally, I think everyone at work in my candle-making factory are jealous of me cos they use half-pint mugs and mine is a one-and-a-half pinter.

      I know it really pisses them off (pun unintended) when I empty the tea-pot into my cup, but I can't help it, the tallow makes me thirsty. I try to amuse them with an old Derbyshire ditty, said by some to have been wrote by King Henry VIII.

    "I'm a little tea-pot

    Short and silly,

    Here's my handle,

    Here's my willie;

    Full me up 

    And hear me hiss,

    Pour me out 

    and see me piss."

      But it does not cheer them up, not even when I reinact the last line by getting my fat johnny out and pissing over the staff-room floor.

      I am sure at times that everyone there hates me, yet I am a nice-enough person, just a normal Joe who carrys his breakfast mug around with him and wears a fez with a large plastic daffodil on top.

    ---


    Text London. (There's nowt wrong with a city that names a railway station after a bear.)

    _____________________________________



      I hate glass, I spend all my waking time smashing windows and crying out "I'm the stone king, fly me you bricks!" I've been down the High many times, not leaving a pane unbroken, not an alarm silent. Its fun, I tell you, to see the street and its cars all boarded up, and the Clowne Carrian saying about gangs of skinheads smashing windows, when the whole town knows its me and respect me for it.

      You see, last Friday, I was a little girl, and I went to the moon dressed as an egg in a frying pan, and on the moon they taught me that Paddington Bear and glass were both evil objects and had to be eliminated, taken from socity and shoy. So every day I patrol the beachs of Chesterfield and snatch Paddington Bears off children and rip out the fur. I do not hurt the children though some have been so brainwashed by the bears that they cry after them. Poor children, I hug them and say sorry, which sometimes make people think I am a pervo. Stupid ignorant fools, but then they never understood Jesus when he told his disciples to tear up all of the Womble toys they could find.

      When it is night time I am in love, for I smash car-windscreens, shop windows, office windows... (never private houses I will not want someone cut by glass or to freeze to death). And I thank Zanzazera, wise Goddesss of the planet ff % 243, that I am normal, and that I for one will be prepared for the invasion of the evil little glass-men.

     

    ---


    Text Yellow Bird.

    ______________



      Bizarrely the three story flat had no windows, the top floor (which was the ground floor outside) had bricked-up windows, and the flat's other two floors were basements. The top two floors of the building had windows and belonged to an ancient bookbinders.

      Despite the lack of windows, the young couple was proud of their place, it was what they had always wanted, for in years past, their mentor, Lord Pineapple lived five years of his childhood within the building. 

      My wife and I went down some stone steps to see robotic lego playing by itself.

      "Pardon the mess" the man, Wayne, smiled, "we don't get many visitors, of course thousands look at the building, and the bookbinders have their Lord Pineapple shrine to the visitors, but down here is silence."

      Wayne and Caroline's two children were on this upper-basement floor which was a vast untidy living room, with just a self-kitchen at the end. the two children, a boy of about six and a girl of say, four, was sitting with a small three-headed bird!

      "Make good pets!" Waybne grinned. I looked at my wife in amazement, on our planet, three-headed birds were banned as trouble-making pests, and here was one as a children's pet! 

      Caroline was young, dark-haired, scatter-brained and very clever, she was in the office in the lower basement, to our surprise, she was on an ancient computer that spoke with the old american accent.

      There was no sign of any robots, though of course one must be around to cook and waste-dispose.

      We asked Wayne.

      "The robot has his own room at the top" the man answered.

      "His own room?" My wife could not decide which was the strangest, the robot having its own room, or being given a gender.

      After a tour of the basement, we went to the ground floor and saw a class-one robot making tau-music with his hands.

      Later on, as we left Earth, we wondered if we had dreamt about our visit to the young families flat. We lived in a glass dome, theirs had no windows, and yet they loved their place and their strange alien friends (whom loved the family in return).

      Even now, as I am thinking this for you fellow-humans, I find it so hard to believe.

      This universe will never cease to amaze me!

     

    ---


    Text Lepordesy

    ______________

    I walk around Huddersfield all day lad, covered in old sheet like, royt, & carrying flippin' bell. DONG! I'm, a , um Whatheycalledsarah? a leopard? Sometimes I sit in the Cuthbert Centre with a chipped wooden bowl in front of me, & I'm crying, like. Anyroad, I mix with crowds & I'm crying, UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN! & I'm crying out t' folk to help me, holding  one finger out sheet, saying other fingers 1 nay none. But ot'er day this here copper like, made me take off sheet, but when he found me stark-bollock naked, oh fuck this yorkshire lark! & toadmarched me dressed to police station, I kept shouting: KEEP AWAY FROM ME! UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!They threw me into a cell, because I had a sty on my eye, and thought I had Lepordesy.So I was back at the Cuthbert Centre For The Sarahs: and making pots of dosh, three heads on one body chum! I can change the hour! I can use the computer to pop out anywhere as a stupid man, that was that day's diary. & they are putting a tenner in my chipped bowl whenever I ring my bell just so I will not touch them...

    " Here," one old gal just said to me, Take a bloody bath! That should been green NO! (Cheeky lass! I showered last year!) Done it! 

    ---

     

    poems by ff % 243.

     

  • Leaving this up front for a few days, just put a poem on The_Clowne_from_Clown and The Three-Headed Sarahs' are next. Too little time to keep this as "A Poem A Day"!

    Terry.

    _______________________________

     

    We read all the right books,

    Brought all the right toys,

    And told him all the right things

    With the right amount of understanding.



    Then there were the sweets,

    The games, the videos, the fashions,

    The days out

    The holidays.

    We gave him everything

    With all the love we could muster.



    Now he threatens us,

    Steals from us,

    Hits us.



    We are afraid of our son.



    Where did we go wrong?

    We ask ourselves;

    We are afraid to get up in the morning

    And afraid to go to bed at night.



    Afraid to answer the phone

    Or the door.



    All we have left are the photographs

    Of a small boy laughing.



    And yes, a man who hates us

    For all we have done for him.



    ---

    Lord Pineapple

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