October 7, 2004
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Hoots Mon Laddie, this personea is the one I used when I took part in the Edinburgh Festival two years running.
Sorry if Wee Duncan is hard going, but that’s Scotland for you. I bet Graham Evil speaks like this.
——————-
“if only ah cud be a poet awl oo’ the time!” Rabbie Burns.
I cud ha’ wrut
A bonnie poem
This morning,
If only I had a pen.
If only I had a way
O’ gitting a pen
There an’ then
Then I cud ha’ wrut
A bonnie poem
This morning,
If I hadna job tae dae.
I stood ahim
The Second Provost
Who stood ahim
The First…
An I had nae way
O’ gitting a pen
When this morning
I stood sae prood
An’ we aal bowed
Tae a better Scotland!
I drink oon tha’!
—
Wee Duncan D.
———————
“Death o’ the Wifie”
_________________
In the end
We dinna e’en gi’ her a grave,
Jus’ a few ashes
Tae scatter oaf the sea
By Cramond Island.
I no canna gae near the place
I’ the wee cawd air,
Tha’ only I noo breathe
an nay her.
—
Wee Duncan D.
_______________
Nessie.
_______
Ha’ I seen the Loch Ness Moonster?
Only when I’m drunk,
Tha’ nay mean laddie
Tha’ I call it bunk!
There must he something there,
There’s nae fire wi’oot fire (as they sai)
An there’s a wheen
That sees the moonster e’ery day!
He feeds the moonster on stovies
It catches them quite smart,
Tis frae a dog, they sai,
Tha’ it learnt this noble art.
The Nessie is nae there fae scientists
They canna see the damned thing,
But it’s said the wee bairns call it
By the shake o’ a bell, ding-ding.
A friendly beastie is the moonster
“Charlie” is noo it’s wee name,
I never myself fed auld Nessie
Which I think is a crying shame.
As I’ve said, I’ve seen the thing
When steaming oon mi wai hame
Nessie is grey an ha’ luminious eyes
An looks like the Greenwich dame.
(copywright of The Douglas Clan. (true!)
—
Wee Duncan D.
_______________
Lines fae mi father.
_________________
An’ the train tha’ ha’ clanged it’s wey frae coal truck tae coal truck is gane,
An we may nay see it’s likes again.
They let the grass grow there father, aye,
Grass an silence under the silent sky.
It’s a field o’ emptiness but fae us auld,
An’ where the line once were it noo blaws cald.
Ye worked in these yards didnae ye, mi dad,
Worked there gin retirement frae a wee lad.
Noo the yard is nae mair, it’s noo lang syne,
As is mi memory of ye, father o’ mine.
They are shunting in heaven dad, aye it’s true,
An ye are working up there fae the good o’ Crewe.
(note: Crewe was the h/q of dad’s lonely Scottish yard.)
—
Wee Duncan D.
________________
I took the granweans tae see Bannockburn
Telling them this is there history and tha’ they mus learn;
But they nae saw any use
In seeing the prood stature o’ oor Bruce.
“Ach, canna we nae gang tae the toon?”
They blethered as I were oon aboot the 24th o’ June,
An I hae tae buy them some stoopid shite
Frae the visitor centre. Ach, it nae fecking richt.
Is tha’ wha’ aal modern bairns are like
Alwais reedy tae mak a fecking fyke?
Fae Scotland they nay gie a hoot
An donna care wha’ their country is all aboot.
—
Wee Duncan D.
___________________
BRIDGE ACROSS THE SILVERY FORTH.
______________________________
Ah, sweet road-bridge across the Silvery Forth!
Ye love taking aal o’ the motorway traffic way up north,
An ye made it tha’ much easier tae gang fae a spin
Tae the country town of Dunfermline.
But traffic goes two ways we ha’ tae admit,
An the road brings tae the capital, the parliament shit,
Aal those fat MP’s who are as bonnie
As a tramp’s cock in a rubber johnny.
An the road taeks the soft English upper-crust
With aal their strange bottom-obsessed lust,
Up tae the Highlands fae their shoot,
Killing oor burds like the’ once pinched oor loot.
This may be, but the road bridge is still as pretty
As anything ye may find in Edinburgh’s city,
And it’s a proud Scotsman who goes forth
Tae drive o’er the bridge o’er the Silvery Forth.
—
Wee Duncan D.
poem on The_Clowne_from_Clown site. Also, Friday, a REAL blog in the true sense. A rarity for me, not sure if I’ll keep it up, all comments will this time be directed here. I have time to keep up all my blogs but not answer everyone’s comments on them all!
Sunday night: Sophie Lucy Morgan.
Comments (40)
wonderful!!! Those were really great to read.
I really enjoyed the bridge across the silvery forth…good pieces…
Not sure that was all truly Scottish too many good words in between .I think i prefer something easier to read .I suppose you were not really of Scottish origin. I might have been with one Grandfather but can’t find anything about him. Cheers Marj
Oh my, these are great. It’s a rare poet who can run with the Scots. Bravo~
Peace~
They took effort for me to read, but it was nice because it made me read them slowly too. I liked the second one best. But that’s because poetry is entirely subjective and I liked the simple short verse, I found it powerful.
~V
hard work to read, but worth it. I want you to put them in an mp3 on the site so I can hear you read these.
only you can take me down such strange places yet i never worry where i end up. i’d say you have a gift but i’m betting you already know that. like always most enjoyable to stop by and see whats new with you a poet within a poets pen.
{-.-}/
Ah- was up for challenged. You did excellent job, bet they took some time to write.
The Nessie poem is somehow fitting as supposedly in China they just found what looks to be a sea monster skeleton and they think it was a type of dinosaur.
This first one brings a chuckle. Need a pen?
Those were fun. I read them out loud, that seemed to help.
…Not that this has to do anything with anything in particular, but reading your Clowne blog, (sorry about the fish, that sucks) you mention Yorkshire. The only thing I really know about Yorkshire is ther is a pudding and The Secret Garden is set there. It was my favorite book when I was a girl. I still read it to my kids, and do terribly on the accents. It is nice to (even if it is my take on things) put a voice to your works.
Good blog, maybe you should put ketchup on the fish. I hardly ever eat it, but my kids seem to think it makes everything edible.
Do you teach, Terry? I think I am learning something new about you.
I know nothing about these sarahs as Im not a normal subscriber to your site, but if they eat cats and you are bringing them inland US anyways how about making a quick stop in Indiana?
Sometimes the hardest to understand are the best to read ………..
This was a lot of fun to read. Was a challenge, but worth it!! Wee Duncan Dee is a great persona!
It would be nice to hear these read as you would read them
Nice to see Wee Duncan again – it’s been awhile I think. Hope all is well in Bonny Scotland.
“if only ah cud be a poet awl oo’ the time!” Rabbie Burns.
I like it’s simplicity although it was a tad hard to read. Reminds me of what I go through mentally everyday “if I only had time.” lol
“granweans”…I love that word. I have been to Bannockburn, but not to the gift shop. I have not sailed on Loch Ness, but I have traveled on Loch Lomond. These poems bring me back to the land of my ancestors…thank you Wee Duncan.
My goodness you have been busy!!
I really enjoyed reading these. well done!
Terry …Yes sometimes u do get to me…but not like u think….hmmmm
Anywho I have been so sick and so paranoid lately.
I am still not in full form and I think I might have to get glasses if i intend to stay here on xanga reading…How vain is this…
The sarah’s did what???????????????
No, I’ve never sent him so much as a vowel.
An invalid frame? What do you mean?
~lisa
okay… so how does commenting here on entries from Clowne avoid confusion?
Well then, I do not like those “fish fingers” either. They taste horrid, I agree.
I enjoyed reading that write up there… over there, on the Clowne bloggie.
My daughter was very thrilled to know that her book was read by you all the way over in England!!! She is now known internationally!! hahaha!
I vote for the Three Headed Sarah’s.
ooooh, love the scotish poems:) and the lilt of the language, i had family in Glasgow…i appreciate your comments, i do like the diversness of your poems, i don’t always mean to sound so depressing or cryptic…hopefully as i grow older my poetry will evolve, hmmmm….im 17….ack!!!!! look at all the years before me, or not?
Ah, this is the first I’ve heard of a connection between you and Oxford. Wonderful! I actually found I have a friend studying over there for a term this fall. Last I read on his blog, he’s enjoying it.
I like the Scottish. As always, you are a joy to read.
It is ok for me that the Sarah’s eat cat, at least they will not eat birds.
The poems are a little to difficult for me, I will try to post some Sardinian poetry
The first poems look like scottish songs . And the others are pure music for me . They sound well . I would like hear them spoken and not only written .
In friendship Michel
Been missing Wee Duncan, hope life is treating him well. His poetry seems less stinging, maybe he is mellowing in his old age.
Fun to read, but tough! Thanks for your comment on my site about Jeff….maybe it IS pollution induced…
Thanky. I love childspeak.
tracy
I’ve had some fun listening to traditional Irish music recently. Stuff about Scottish men getting drunk, passing out, and then girls tie blue ribbons around their genitals. Great stuff.
This is great! I love the wording and the brogue. Wonderful poetry.
Peace.
i can see how he could have said that…it is the height of cruelty…she was probably delierous wih pain in her heart….magi
Applauding happily !
Absolute genius.
What a hoot! As a victim of American pop culture, I couldn’t help seeing Groundskeeper Willie (from The Simpsons TV show) as I read them. The accent (dialect?) is great…I do so enjoy reading your posts!